That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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