PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
