He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
