Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Randomize
