Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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