But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
