I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
