Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
