The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
