4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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