I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
