if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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