Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
