yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
