Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Randomize
