I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
The uberlube is also flammable
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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