wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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