a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Randomize
