pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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