is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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