I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize
