i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
