im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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