my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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