I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
