I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
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He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
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We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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