so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
