This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Randomize