Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
