i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
