i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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