we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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