nut hugger
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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