I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
is wine microwaveable?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
