who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
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I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
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If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before