Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.