11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Rumble strips road head = magical
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will