at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....