i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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