You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.