i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize