It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Congratulations! We have a period
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
