I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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