He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
