On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
