I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
