my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Randomize
