sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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