I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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