Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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