Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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