what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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