Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
