i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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