I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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