Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
