Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
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