I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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