their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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