I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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