I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
