YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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