I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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