Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
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Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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