I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
