i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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