Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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