you're like a bully in the Christmas story
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
