Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
