I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize