My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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